Emotional parenting story

I wrote about Madeline’s issues with a frienemy last week and how I had come to the realization that it isn’t a problem I can just “fix”. If she is going to choose to stay friends with her frienemy then she we will have to figure how to make it work.
Well, I actually got this one right. Once I backed out of “the problem” Madeline was forced to take matters in her own hands. She approached the frienemy in gym class and called a truce. They hugged and it has been going well since. For now, anyway.

In the meantime I have written two letters to each of my oldest daughters. I had given Madeline the American Girl Doll book “A smart girl’s guide to friendship troubles” to help her with her friendship woes but she poo-pooed it. She doesn’t need a book she reassured me. Hmmm, that’s interesting because she certainly seemed to want my assistance. That’s when I decided to write the first letter. She loves to hear stories about when I was a little girl and especially stories about my school and friendship troubles.I pulled some of the important points I wanted her to read from the book and applied them to my own childhood experiences. I wrote about the times I was teased or I didn’t feel like I fit in. I shared my insecurities about my freckles and my nose and how there were times I felt jealous of another girl who had what I wished I had. The letter ended with how I came to love myself, gained confidence, and to always stay true to who I am.
I want my girls to know that all of these little life “blips” are learning lessons, milestones we all have to go through to figure out who we are. If we learn to love ourselves and treat others as we want to be treated then everything else will fall into place. There will always be little blips in our lives but if we feel good about ourselves then those blips will be more manageable. Blah, blah, blah.
Madeline loved the letter and it sparked quite a conversation between us. She is at the age where she looks up to me so it is very reassuring for her to know I’ve experienced some of the issues she is dealing with right now and I came out okay. The letter went over so well that I wrote another but it is sealed for now.
I know that in a few short years I will no longer be the center of my kid’s universe. They will be trying to gain independence, experience the world without me, and will keep secrets from me. I know we won’t always see eye to eye and I will no longer seem cool to them. I hope we will be able to continue to communicate but I also expect that it will be a trying time for us.
The second letter explains all this plus how I’m trying to keep them safe and only want the best for them even when it seems like I don’t understand. I want them to know that at the time I wrote the letter I was looking into the future with uncertainty. I am afraid of the teenage years. It’s a critical time and I don’t want to mess it up. I want them to know that I do remember being their age and that I didn’t always use good judgement. We are both going to make mistakes and I just hope that we can get through them and still like each other. I shared that I hope they will feel like they can come to me about anything and I can be reasonable.
At this point I don’t know how the letter will be received. When we hit our first teenage years blip I plan to give them their sealed letter. I will encourage them to write me back. I don’t know if will be helpful or not but I figure it’s worth a try.

Kerry Katona BUST-UP

Lover got sick of her boozy wild ways

By Rav Singh

TELLY beauty Kerry Katona has been dumped by fiancé Dave Cunningham, he exclusively revealed to the News of the World last night.

The shock announcement came just a week after we published snaps of the former Atomic Kitten star chatting up a stranger on a topless Spanish beach, and follows a string of furious bust-ups.

Printer Dave, 26, told us: "We HAVE split up and it was ME who ended it. Things haven't been great. It wasn't over what happened in Spain—we patched things up after that. We had a laugh over it. Now I don't know what's happening—I don't know if we'll get back together."

Amazingly the news comes only two days after 25-year-old Kerry Katona, the ex-wife of singer Brian McFadden, announced that she planned to get married for the second time. But a close friend of Dave revealed last night that he ditched I'm A Celebrity jungle queen Kerry over her boozing, crazy behaviour and refusal to settle down for a quiet family life.

"They haven't been getting on for a while because Dave hates all Kerry's partying and wants a normal lifestyle," added the pal. In September when she came out of six weeks' alcohol rehab at the Cottonwood clinic in Arizona, she vowed to Dave that she'd settle down, lay off the drink and spend more time with Dave and her two daughters.

"But after a few weeks she was back to her normal self—getting drunk and having a good time. When Dave told her, ‘You've got to stop caning it!' she just ignored him and carried on going on benders. And whenever she gets drunk she goes completely bonkers."

Dave dumped Kerry in April over her cocaine abuse— first revealed in the News of the World— but they made it up. The friend added: "Dave is really anti-drugs and hated what Kerry was doing. But she begged him to take her back and he gave her another chance. This time he's had enough."

A friend of Dave's ex-girlfriend, children's nurse Colette Cody, also claimed last night that, after nine months with Kerry, he had been badgering Colette to get back with him. He can't get her out of his head, even though she's told him she won't have him back," said the friend. Whenever Dave hits trouble with Kerry, he turns to Colette again. He's obsessed with her. In the last few weeks he's been telling her, ‘I miss you. I want you back.'"

Kerry's recent holiday to Marbella, Spain, with Dave sparked fireworks. First the couple were involved in a violent scene at a nightspot, when feisty Kerry belted Dave in the face after he begged her to leave a lap dancing club.

Dave had enjoyed a private dance with a busty babe and went ballistic when Kerry—who once earned £700 a night as a teenage lapdancer— demanded one too. Then we pictured the Warrington-born babe showing off her new £3,000 boob job on the sands, chatting up a hunky fan and enjoying a topless rub from a wandering beach masseur.

 ARTICLE № 2

Ender tells of deadly brain bug nightmare for the first time

MY HEAD HURT SO MUCH I WANTED THEM TO CUT IT OFF

By Rachel Richardson

SHAKEN EastEnders star Joe Swash has movingly told for the first time how he was struck down by killer disease meningitis.

"I was certain I'd die," he revealed in an exclusive interview with the News of the World. "My head hurt so much I wanted the nurses to cut it off."

The 23-year-old actor, who plays Albert Square Jack-the-lad Mickey Miller, confessed he was terrified when the deadly virus left him paralysed down his left side and unable to speak.

But after five weeks battling the disease Joe is back on his feet. Recalling the chilling moment his nightmare started he told us: "I knew something was wrong and it could kill me. I was sure I'd suffered a stroke because my body was numb. Then the headaches started and I thought it was something much worse. I've never felt pain like it."

Joe's torment began in the early hours of September 28. Girlfriend Emma Sophocleous heard him groaning in bed beside her at their north London flat at 2am.

"I couldn't feel the left side of my body," said Joe. "It was numb. I tried wiggling my toes and my legs. My arm felt like it was sagging, almost hanging off my body. Then I tried to move my mouth and felt sheer terror come over me—I couldn't move my lips.

"Because of the numbness my first thought was that I'd had a stroke. My second thought was that I couldn't work again.

"I've spent half my life trying to be an actor and I work on a show that I love. I felt it had all slipped away because I'd now lost the most important thing you need to be an actor—the ability to talk. It was terrifying. I've never been that scared before."

Worried Emma, 23, rang Joe's mum Kiffy who lives nearby. She arrived with his two sisters, 14-year-old TV co-star Shana—who plays screen sis Demi—and Caisie, 20.

"I knew I was in a bad way when my mum looked at me and the colour drained out of her face," recalled Joe. "It really scared her and she started panicking, especially when I started to vomit uncontrollably.

"Then I got a panic attack, shaking and having cold sweats." Kiffy dialled 999 and Joe was rushed to the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead.

As the ambulance dashed through the dark streets, Joe was struck by violent headaches and thought his life was ebbing away. "I thought to myself, ‘This is it. I'm going to die. I'm not going to see my friends and family again.'"

Joe's condition was deteriorating rapidly as medics whisked him into the emergency ward. "I was slipping in and out of consciousness," he said.

"My limbs were completely lifeless. I was like a rag doll. Mum thought she'd lost me."

After a barrage of tests doctors were still not sure what was wrong. "I didn't speak for three days and my head hurt so much."

After three days the doctors finally diagnosed viral meningitis and prescribed a cocktail of drugs involving eight pills a day. But Joe was still in excruciating pain.

After ten days on the ward Joe was desperate to go home. Joe knew he wasn't fully recovered but decided to con the doctors into releasing him early.

The soap star put on the acting performance of his life to convince the medics he was well. And he was let out on a Saturday morning, 11 days after he was admitted. But less than 24 hours later, Joe suffered a severe relapse.

He woke up on his sofa and it was like a re-run of that first attack. He was dashed back to the Royal Free where he stayed another week.

When Joe was eventually released a second time, he was told to rest at his mum's place for two weeks. He made slow progress but at the end of the fortnight suffered another serious setback and a SECOND relapse.

"But Mum knew I couldn't face going back into hospital so she let me weather it out in her bed at home," confessed Joe.

Two weeks later Joe was up and around again. And he got the doctor's all-clear last Tuesday. He plans to return to work on November 14 and will be back on screen in January.

WHY I BEAT ENDER LOVER

EXCLUSIVE: Ex confesses truth about THAT brawl

By Sara Nuwar

THE ex-lover of EastEnders star Steve McFadden has lifted the lid on the moment she sensationally attacked him outside her home.

Speaking for the first time about the blazing bust-up that got her arrested last week, Angela Bostock reveals how her pent-up frustration exploded into a savage punch that nearly floored the screen hardman.

"He's driven me over the edge," says Angela in a tearful interview with the News of the World. "I've never hit anyone in my life but that day I had so much anger in me. All the emotions came out.

"What flashed before me was the last ten years of my life, all the abuse, the aggression and everything he put me through. I walloped him in the head with a punch he had taught me to use in self defence. The power amazed me. He reeled backwards. He had it coming. People will have read that it was a row over a stupid garage—but it was about much more than that."

The seeds of their astonishing fight were sown three months ago when Angela, 29, told us how pervert McFadden took her dogging at car parks in his campervan, once making her have sex with a transvestite as he watched. And we can reveal there were not one, but TWO huge bust-ups outside the home he bought her in north London.

In the first Angela was so scared of the raging actor she dialled 999—only for petulant McFadden, 46, to do the same. In the second incident McFadden—who has just returned to the BBC1 soap as Phil Mitchell—he turned up with three cops to change the locks on the garage he claims is his.

However, it all started on Tuesday at 9pm when Angela was getting a mattress out of the garage on the gated estate for eight-year-old Teona's new bedroom. McFadden had come round from his nearby mansion to drop off a jacket for his daughter when he spotted the garage door open.

"He flew into a screaming rage, accusing me of theft. He came close up to my face and was growling like he does as Phil on screen and was going red in the face and clenching his fists.

"He lunged forward. He was only inches away. I dialled 999 on my mobile and told the police what was happening. But then Steve got out his phone and called the police too saying it was me who was being threatening.

"I got angry then. I said, ‘You can't hurt me any more. I don't love you.' He called me ugly and said nobody would believe me. He said I had no friends and I should have plastic surgery and he had more money than me. He was yelling I was fat and spotty.

"I snapped back, ‘I'm fat? What about you?' The thought of sex with him now is repulsive. He just sneered, ‘Well I get paid £500,000 to get my stomach out on screen'. I said ‘Am I meant to be impressed by that?' I told him he must be gay because making your girlfriend sleep with a transvestite is not normal."

Angela says three police cars then turned up at the address. One male officer listened to her story as another spoke to McFadden. The mum-of-two ran around the house trying to find documents which proved the property was hers. "Then they left," she says.

Two days later on Thursday came the second row. In a bizarre twist last week, police were also called that day to the address of McFadden's on-screen brother Ross Kemp, who plays hard man Grant Mitchell, after a domestic incident with wife Rebekah Wade, editor of The Sun. Ms Wade was held for eight hours before being released without charge or caution. The couple later dismissed the incident as "just a silly row".

But there was nothing silly about what was to happen outside Angela's home. She had just dropped Teona at school and returned to find McFadden and four other men looking at the garage lock.

"Three of the men then said they were police but I didn't believe them at first. Steve had called them so he could change the locks on the garage. I was so upset. I called my solicitor and tried to get him to e-mail some details proving I owned the garage."

She got Mollie, their 18-month-old daughter, out of the car and took her in the house. I was so angry," she added. "I was running round trying to get her nappy changed and find the papers. I felt I couldn't take it any more. I was thinking about how nasty he'd been the day before."

As the anger bubbled up Angela took 18-month-old Mollie out and handed her to McFadden so she could get back to looking for the papers. "But as I was walking away he put on a puppy-dog voice, saying ‘Ang, Ang' making it look like he was trying to smooth things over. But I've been trying to sort things out for nine months and it's really all attack, attack, attack, lies, lies, lies.

"All the anger burst out. It just exploded. I tuned around and went for him. I whacked him on the side of the head with the palm of my hand. He had showed me how to do that. It's a way of hitting someone without hurting yourself.

"He didn't expect it. He only acts the tough guy, he's not in real life. His head rocked sideways. But he kept hold of Mollie. I'm not proud of what I did as he was holding my daughter."

Angela said all three plain-clothes officers watched the scene unfold. "They were stunned. I could see a look of glee come across Steve's face. He smirked, he knew he had got me."

She ran back into the house. "The police came in and said I was being arrested for assault. My whole body was shaking." She was taken to Tottenham police station but released with a caution.

WALES 0 ENGLAND 1: Cole saves Sven's strugglers

SVEN GORAN ERIKSSON refused to condemn his players after England stuttered to a 1-0 World Cup qualifying win over Wales in Cardiff.

Joe Cole saved the Swede's blushes yesterday with a deflected second-half winner.

But Eriksson insisted his new 4-5-1 formation had been a success. He said: "I am very happy with the result. The most important thing was to get three points.

"I thought the formation worked well for an hour but we should have scored more. We will try and play better against Northern Ireland on Wednesday, but I'll be happy if we get the same result.

"Our attitude was better today than when we lost 4-1 to Denmark."

Only a world-class save from England keeper DAVID BECKHAM  and Paul Robinson to deny John Hartson secured victory.

Despite the poor display, Eriksson is still unbeaten in competitive matches as England boss, with yesterday's win his 21st.

And he added: "At least we know we can now play this system. Rooney did very well on his own up front and I don't care what people say.

Deflection

"He can play there, on the left, on the right, in the centre or as a second striker — he's that good."

However, Wales skipper Ryan Giggs said: "It was only a deflection that beat us." Welsh boss John Toshack added: "England barely caused us a problem apart from that.

"And Robinson had to make the save of the match to stop us scoring."

Skipper David Beckham said: "We achieved today what we set out to do.

"We won the game and got three points and put in a better performance than we did in that friendly in Denmark. "Maybe some people would have liked to have seen more goals to show that the Copenhagen performance was out of our system."

Hollywood news

Photos of Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears, and Lady Gaga!

I hope you didn’t click because you were actually looking for Kim Kardashian nude photos.  If so, you’ll be sorely disappointed.  In fact, you wont find any pictures of Kim Kardashian at all.  Nor will you find any pictures of Britney Spears or Lady Gaga.  Truth be told, if that’s what you clicked on for, you should probably get out and date more.  But sadly, most who read this will have done so for exactly that reason.      It’s a sad commentary on the mindset of our society;  we care more about boobs than we do about individuality.  We as a whole are so utterly superficial that we have created the miracle known as the internet, and 40% of the activity that takes place here is pornography.  Is it possible that we are truly this shallow?  Our sons are being raised to judge a woman based solely on her bodily appearance and facial appeal, and our daughters are coming up being given the impression that the more similarities they bear to a prostitute, the better they are as a person.

     I have written before on this subject, but it is fast becoming a prevalent issue.  Our kids look up to these Icons; and sadly, you will rarely see Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears, or Lady Gaga without some part of their anatomy poking out for the cameras.  Kim Kardashian is a talentless bimbo, Britney Spears is simply a decorated piece of trailer trash, and Lady Gaga is something akin to a Clockwork Orange hooker.
     Yet every day, thousands come online hoping only to catch a glimpse of breast or a Britney Spears special (the drunken crotch shot).  And Lady Gaga?  Only the most googled woman on the planet.  And none of them are, in the overall category of physical attractiveness, anything to write home about.  Some have even inferred that Lady Gaga may even be a man. (Although that could potentially add her to the Tiger Woods list)
     And it wont change.  We love our celebrities, but we love them that much more naked, and in Pics.  How sad.

EXCLUSIVE: What REALLY went on in bust-up

EXCLUSIVE: What REALLY went on in bust-up

Rooney: The truth

By Matthew Acton, Polly Graham & Lewis Panther

RAGING England star Wayne Rooney PUNCHED terrified fiancée Coleen in the chest during their nightclub row last week, the News of the Worldcan reveal today.

The fiery Man United soccer ace violently tore into the crying beauty, screaming "f*** off home" before team-mate Rio Ferdinand pulled him off her.

"There was a lot more to it than just a slap across the face," a pal of the couple told us. "He followed that by punching her in the ribs just below her bust. I saw it happen and it was very nasty.

"The players there have seen him being aggressive on the pitch but never anything like this. It was shocking."

Today we reveal the REAL reason behind the bust-up. And how Rooney and Coleen, 19, have hatched a barmy plan to have a BABY to get their stormy romance back on track.

"They think a baby will take their relationship to another level," said our source. "He wants one as well as her."

We also reveal how tearful 19-year-old Coleen turned to Victoria Beckham (right) for help when the story broke about her fight with Wayne.

Present

"She knew Victoria had been through it all with the Rebecca Loos affair and wanted to know how she should handle the situation," said the pal.

"Victoria told her to make sure she and Wayne were pictured together looking happy at the first opportunity."

Which is exactly what happened when Coleen returned home from a photoshoot in Cyprus, gushing: "I can't wait to get back to Wayne."

But it was the photoshoot that caused the frightening row between them in plush Brasingamens in Alderley Edge, Cheshire, last Sunday night.

Until now it has been reported as a "modelling assignment"—but the News of the World has discovered that Rooney, 19, organised the shoot as a birthday present for Coleen.

He had paid £30,000 for her to stay at the luxury Amathus hotel on the island and be snapped by a top photographer.

Rooney laid on first-class flights, a driver, stylists and hairdresser as part of the carefully prepared prezzie. He plans to adorn the walls of the couple's £4.5 million new home—currently being built in Prestbury, Cheshire—with the photos.

So he was furious when he found Coleen at Brasingamens after she had promised to get an early night before her flight to Cyprus the next morning.

The couple had enjoyed a meal at the £2million home of Rio Ferdinand and his lover Rebecca Ellison in Alderley Edge. Also there were team-mates Wes Brown, with girlfriend Leanne, and Roy Carroll and wife Kerry.

The footballers then decided to visit a few bars as their partners said they were calling it a night and ordering taxis home.

But the girls changed their minds—and when Rooney walked into the nightspot at 10.45pm and spotted Coleen he flew into a violent rage.

"Wayne was stunned. He thought Coleen had gone home and was furious when he saw her having a drink and a laugh with the other girls," said our source.

"He stormed over and demanded to know what she was doing there. He said she should drink up and go. He shouted, ‘Come on, knock it on the head. You've got a plane to catch in the morning'."

Coleen tried to calm furious Wayne—infamous for his on-field four-letter tirades—by telling him she was fine. But he quickly became abusive.

The couple's pal said: "She kept saying, ‘I'm OK. I'm having a good time'. She certainly made no mention about Wayne endangering her health through sleeping with hookers, which is what some papers said."

Rooney then screamed at stunned Coleen to "f*** off home" but she refused. He reached across, grabbed her by the hair and slapped her face. Then came the punch.

"Rio grabbed Wayne, and Wes Brown jumped up and put himself between Wayne and Coleen," said the pal. "She burst into tears and was taken outside by the other girls."

The warring couple went home together. Distressed Coleen flew out to Cyprus the following morning—and immediately called Posh for help.

"Victoria is like the elder stateswoman of the footballers' wives," said the pal. " They are all a little scared of her but also know they can turn to her in times of stress."

Posh told Coleen to do what the Beckhams did after our Rebecca Loos story broke. Victoria made sure she was pictured smiling and joking with shamed husband David the next day at the French ski resort of Courchevel.

Coleen followed suit when she flew home on Thursday, puckering up to Wayne in his BMW after he picked her up from Manchester Airport.

Embrace

Wayne looked uncomfortable and kept his eyes open as Coleen—knowing there were cameras around— threw herself into an embrace with him.

Before that she said: "I'm so in love with Wayne. He's such a talented man, I just can't wait to see him."

And now she can't wait to have a baby with him. Friends say Coleen has been begging Rooney for months to start a family. But the Manchester United and England hitman has always argued he's not ready.

Now Wayne—desperate not to lose his sweetheart—has told her he wants to be a dad, said our source.

The pal said: "They've had a very emotional week and there's been some long and very tearful conversations.

"Wayne's revolted by his behaviour but Coleen's forgiven him. They've talked about where they go from here. They both believe a baby will give them some stability."

But they are not planning to get married. "The baby will come before the wedding," said the pal.

"Neither of them is religious. They can't see the point in marriage just yet. But there will be a wedding one day."

I wish I'd never left my Cheryl

EXCLUSIVE: Regret as lung cancer kills ex

By Phil Taylor

MICHAEL BARRYMORE last night told of his heartbreak at the death of ex-wife Cheryl and said: "I wish I'd made peace with her and told her how much I loved her."

In an exclusive interview with the News of the World, the gay comedian confessed he was devastated by Cheryl's death from lung cancer at the age of 56.

He said: "I had no idea she was unwell and just wish I had been told six weeks ago when she was diagnosed.

"Had I known I'd have flown to Britain from my home in New Zealand to be by her side. I would have liked to have held her hand, given her a hug and told her how much I loved her.

"It's not supposed to be like this. I was the one on the list to die early.

Cruel

"Cheryl got me into rehab (for booze addiction) and told me for years, ‘If you don't get yourself sorted out you are going to be dead.'

"But I've got well and now she's dead at just 56. Fate has dealt a cruel hand.

"I wish I had never left her. It's one of the saddest stories ever. I just wish she could be with me now so I could tell her what I'm telling you."

Barrymore's 21-year marriage ended in a bitter divorce in 1997 when he was Britain's biggest TV entertainer.

But he revealed: "I was recently told by friends that Cheryl wanted to get back with me. I wanted to call her.

"I actually picked up the phone. But I didn't go through with it because I feared I'd be rejected. I owed her an apology for not being able to find a way to make our marriage work and for her to be destroyed by losing the one she loved so deeply.

"She was a big smoker. She always was. If I increased her stress levels, I am terribly sorry for that. But now she is dead and I can only say it in prayer."

Barrymore sighed: "The last time I spoke to Cheryl was five years ago. She told me she wanted me back.

"I told her, ‘I can't come back. It's not going to work out.' But I never wanted to leave Cheryl.

"I wanted to stay best mates and carry on working with her.

"Our relationship wasn't just special, it was unique. Cheryl created Michael Barrymore. Without her I would never have become a star.

"Cheryl was so much part of me we were almost like one person. But she couldn't accept my sexuality. She couldn't accept I was gay.

"Cheryl invested her whole life in me. I was her husband. I was her career. She didn't want a child. She just wanted me. She couldn't get her head around not having me completely.

"I was her life. But I couldn't make her understand that there was nothing I could do about my sexuality.

"She would say to me, ‘We can fix it.' It's just a phase you're going through. You're not gay. You're just doing it to get attention and be different.' But I told her, ‘I'm not. We can't fix it. We are going to have to do it another way.

"I offered to keep the marriage going and come to an arrangement where we remained best mates and worked together, but I had my gay nights out.

"Cheryl could not accept that. She didn't want me to go out.

"I didn't want our marriage to finish. It was a big wrench for me to leave her. It was like a tragic play but for real."

Cheryl briefly continued as his manager when he revealed he was gay in 1995. But the couple fell out and ended the marriage eight years ago.

Barrymore said: "I told her I loved her, but I don't think it was heard over the screaming and shouting."

"She was the master of working things out. My only skill was getting up and making people laugh."

Barrymore's career collapsed after the body of 31-year-old Stuart Lubbock was found in the swimming pool of his Essex mansion in 2001.

Cheryl started a police perjury investigation after she claimed he had lied to the inquest when he told them he could not swim.

Barrymore said: "I still don't know why she did that. She knew I couldn't swim. But I think she would have preferred to have mourned my death than see me be with anybody else."

He told how Cheryl masterminded his career. "She discovered me when I was a know-nothing, green-as-anything comic with teeth all over the place at The Showboat In The Strand when I was bottom of the bill in 1975. She came to my dressing room and told me, ‘You know there is something very special about you?' Nobody had ever said that to me.

"She said, ‘Would you like me to manage you?' And I said, ‘Yeah, OK' and I fell in love with her in the first instant because she was the first person to give me that much attention.

"She spent the money she had to buy me my first suit.

"The next night my shoulders grew during my 12-minute act and she created this person that she got millions of people to love.

Honour

"We were together over 20 years and had a good love-life. She will always be a huge love. I'll never forget her."

Chain-smoker Cheryl died in a London hospital on Friday. Only a few family and friends knew of her plight.

Barrymore is starring in Chicago in New Zealand, where he now lives with boyfriend Shaun Davis. The entertainer said: "I am going to work even harder to get back to where I was, even if it's only in honour of Cheryl.

"I've got my life back. Anything on top of that is a bonus.

"But there is no bonus today. There is a minus. And it's called Cheryl."

In return for this interview, Michael Barrymore has asked the News of the World to make a donation to the Cancer Research Department at London's University College Hospital.