Kerry Katona: It's a shame she picked bikini a size too small

By Robbie Collin, 18/01/2009

YOU can take the fat out of Kerry Katona . . . just a shame you can’t put some fashion sense into her.

IT FIGURES: New bod, hence the scars, but Kerry's got the same old taste

And now we know why Mum’s gone to Iceland — it’s so she could pick up a brand new BacoFoil bikini.
But although some might feel a little queasy seeing her squeezy into this “bikini”, the mum-of-four seemed more than happy to show off her new figure.
See more of Kerry Katona's topless beach photos
For this is the new, low-fat Kerry Katona wrap, a former meat-feast that now comes with almost 50 per cent off. Here’s her slim-fast recipe:
Simply take a 14-stone, washed- out pop star (preferably free-range with a personal trainer).

Foil

Soak in alcohol, add £15,000-worth of cosmetic surgery (don’t skimp on the liposuction) and trim breast from 34GG to a 34DD.
Wrap in silver foil (but not too tightly — as our pictures show, you may run the risk of exposing excess flesh which can have disastrous results in presentation). Drizzle in suncream and leave to roast in the baking Spanish heat for a few hours.
Remove the top layer of foil when nicely glazed, exposing the breast (don’t worry about any wrinkled skin) and leave to simmer.
Finally, season with bailiffs, sorry, bay leaves. For a bit on the side dish, Kerry is complemented well by a randy 37-year-old car cleaner — but be sure to remove any car grease, grime and slime before serving.
And voila! You have a surprisingly lean and tasty Kerry Katona weighing in at a healthy 8st.
The former Atomic Kitten star has dropped from a Size 16 to a Size 10 since her training, dieting and surgery last August.

Rest

And she looked happy enough in her new body, being chased across the sand by breast-grabbing hubby Mark Croft.
An onlooker said: “They both looked happy but they were worn out.
“They’ve had the year from hell so it makes sense to start 2009 with a bit of a rest.”