Emotional parenting story

I wrote about Madeline’s issues with a frienemy last week and how I had come to the realization that it isn’t a problem I can just “fix”. If she is going to choose to stay friends with her frienemy then she we will have to figure how to make it work.
Well, I actually got this one right. Once I backed out of “the problem” Madeline was forced to take matters in her own hands. She approached the frienemy in gym class and called a truce. They hugged and it has been going well since. For now, anyway.

In the meantime I have written two letters to each of my oldest daughters. I had given Madeline the American Girl Doll book “A smart girl’s guide to friendship troubles” to help her with her friendship woes but she poo-pooed it. She doesn’t need a book she reassured me. Hmmm, that’s interesting because she certainly seemed to want my assistance. That’s when I decided to write the first letter. She loves to hear stories about when I was a little girl and especially stories about my school and friendship troubles.I pulled some of the important points I wanted her to read from the book and applied them to my own childhood experiences. I wrote about the times I was teased or I didn’t feel like I fit in. I shared my insecurities about my freckles and my nose and how there were times I felt jealous of another girl who had what I wished I had. The letter ended with how I came to love myself, gained confidence, and to always stay true to who I am.
I want my girls to know that all of these little life “blips” are learning lessons, milestones we all have to go through to figure out who we are. If we learn to love ourselves and treat others as we want to be treated then everything else will fall into place. There will always be little blips in our lives but if we feel good about ourselves then those blips will be more manageable. Blah, blah, blah.
Madeline loved the letter and it sparked quite a conversation between us. She is at the age where she looks up to me so it is very reassuring for her to know I’ve experienced some of the issues she is dealing with right now and I came out okay. The letter went over so well that I wrote another but it is sealed for now.
I know that in a few short years I will no longer be the center of my kid’s universe. They will be trying to gain independence, experience the world without me, and will keep secrets from me. I know we won’t always see eye to eye and I will no longer seem cool to them. I hope we will be able to continue to communicate but I also expect that it will be a trying time for us.
The second letter explains all this plus how I’m trying to keep them safe and only want the best for them even when it seems like I don’t understand. I want them to know that at the time I wrote the letter I was looking into the future with uncertainty. I am afraid of the teenage years. It’s a critical time and I don’t want to mess it up. I want them to know that I do remember being their age and that I didn’t always use good judgement. We are both going to make mistakes and I just hope that we can get through them and still like each other. I shared that I hope they will feel like they can come to me about anything and I can be reasonable.
At this point I don’t know how the letter will be received. When we hit our first teenage years blip I plan to give them their sealed letter. I will encourage them to write me back. I don’t know if will be helpful or not but I figure it’s worth a try.

Kerry Katona BUST-UP

Lover got sick of her boozy wild ways

By Rav Singh

TELLY beauty Kerry Katona has been dumped by fiancé Dave Cunningham, he exclusively revealed to the News of the World last night.

The shock announcement came just a week after we published snaps of the former Atomic Kitten star chatting up a stranger on a topless Spanish beach, and follows a string of furious bust-ups.

Printer Dave, 26, told us: "We HAVE split up and it was ME who ended it. Things haven't been great. It wasn't over what happened in Spain—we patched things up after that. We had a laugh over it. Now I don't know what's happening—I don't know if we'll get back together."

Amazingly the news comes only two days after 25-year-old Kerry Katona, the ex-wife of singer Brian McFadden, announced that she planned to get married for the second time. But a close friend of Dave revealed last night that he ditched I'm A Celebrity jungle queen Kerry over her boozing, crazy behaviour and refusal to settle down for a quiet family life.

"They haven't been getting on for a while because Dave hates all Kerry's partying and wants a normal lifestyle," added the pal. In September when she came out of six weeks' alcohol rehab at the Cottonwood clinic in Arizona, she vowed to Dave that she'd settle down, lay off the drink and spend more time with Dave and her two daughters.

"But after a few weeks she was back to her normal self—getting drunk and having a good time. When Dave told her, ‘You've got to stop caning it!' she just ignored him and carried on going on benders. And whenever she gets drunk she goes completely bonkers."

Dave dumped Kerry in April over her cocaine abuse— first revealed in the News of the World— but they made it up. The friend added: "Dave is really anti-drugs and hated what Kerry was doing. But she begged him to take her back and he gave her another chance. This time he's had enough."

A friend of Dave's ex-girlfriend, children's nurse Colette Cody, also claimed last night that, after nine months with Kerry, he had been badgering Colette to get back with him. He can't get her out of his head, even though she's told him she won't have him back," said the friend. Whenever Dave hits trouble with Kerry, he turns to Colette again. He's obsessed with her. In the last few weeks he's been telling her, ‘I miss you. I want you back.'"

Kerry's recent holiday to Marbella, Spain, with Dave sparked fireworks. First the couple were involved in a violent scene at a nightspot, when feisty Kerry belted Dave in the face after he begged her to leave a lap dancing club.

Dave had enjoyed a private dance with a busty babe and went ballistic when Kerry—who once earned £700 a night as a teenage lapdancer— demanded one too. Then we pictured the Warrington-born babe showing off her new £3,000 boob job on the sands, chatting up a hunky fan and enjoying a topless rub from a wandering beach masseur.

 ARTICLE № 2

Ender tells of deadly brain bug nightmare for the first time

MY HEAD HURT SO MUCH I WANTED THEM TO CUT IT OFF

By Rachel Richardson

SHAKEN EastEnders star Joe Swash has movingly told for the first time how he was struck down by killer disease meningitis.

"I was certain I'd die," he revealed in an exclusive interview with the News of the World. "My head hurt so much I wanted the nurses to cut it off."

The 23-year-old actor, who plays Albert Square Jack-the-lad Mickey Miller, confessed he was terrified when the deadly virus left him paralysed down his left side and unable to speak.

But after five weeks battling the disease Joe is back on his feet. Recalling the chilling moment his nightmare started he told us: "I knew something was wrong and it could kill me. I was sure I'd suffered a stroke because my body was numb. Then the headaches started and I thought it was something much worse. I've never felt pain like it."

Joe's torment began in the early hours of September 28. Girlfriend Emma Sophocleous heard him groaning in bed beside her at their north London flat at 2am.

"I couldn't feel the left side of my body," said Joe. "It was numb. I tried wiggling my toes and my legs. My arm felt like it was sagging, almost hanging off my body. Then I tried to move my mouth and felt sheer terror come over me—I couldn't move my lips.

"Because of the numbness my first thought was that I'd had a stroke. My second thought was that I couldn't work again.

"I've spent half my life trying to be an actor and I work on a show that I love. I felt it had all slipped away because I'd now lost the most important thing you need to be an actor—the ability to talk. It was terrifying. I've never been that scared before."

Worried Emma, 23, rang Joe's mum Kiffy who lives nearby. She arrived with his two sisters, 14-year-old TV co-star Shana—who plays screen sis Demi—and Caisie, 20.

"I knew I was in a bad way when my mum looked at me and the colour drained out of her face," recalled Joe. "It really scared her and she started panicking, especially when I started to vomit uncontrollably.

"Then I got a panic attack, shaking and having cold sweats." Kiffy dialled 999 and Joe was rushed to the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead.

As the ambulance dashed through the dark streets, Joe was struck by violent headaches and thought his life was ebbing away. "I thought to myself, ‘This is it. I'm going to die. I'm not going to see my friends and family again.'"

Joe's condition was deteriorating rapidly as medics whisked him into the emergency ward. "I was slipping in and out of consciousness," he said.

"My limbs were completely lifeless. I was like a rag doll. Mum thought she'd lost me."

After a barrage of tests doctors were still not sure what was wrong. "I didn't speak for three days and my head hurt so much."

After three days the doctors finally diagnosed viral meningitis and prescribed a cocktail of drugs involving eight pills a day. But Joe was still in excruciating pain.

After ten days on the ward Joe was desperate to go home. Joe knew he wasn't fully recovered but decided to con the doctors into releasing him early.

The soap star put on the acting performance of his life to convince the medics he was well. And he was let out on a Saturday morning, 11 days after he was admitted. But less than 24 hours later, Joe suffered a severe relapse.

He woke up on his sofa and it was like a re-run of that first attack. He was dashed back to the Royal Free where he stayed another week.

When Joe was eventually released a second time, he was told to rest at his mum's place for two weeks. He made slow progress but at the end of the fortnight suffered another serious setback and a SECOND relapse.

"But Mum knew I couldn't face going back into hospital so she let me weather it out in her bed at home," confessed Joe.

Two weeks later Joe was up and around again. And he got the doctor's all-clear last Tuesday. He plans to return to work on November 14 and will be back on screen in January.

WHY I BEAT ENDER LOVER

EXCLUSIVE: Ex confesses truth about THAT brawl

By Sara Nuwar

THE ex-lover of EastEnders star Steve McFadden has lifted the lid on the moment she sensationally attacked him outside her home.

Speaking for the first time about the blazing bust-up that got her arrested last week, Angela Bostock reveals how her pent-up frustration exploded into a savage punch that nearly floored the screen hardman.

"He's driven me over the edge," says Angela in a tearful interview with the News of the World. "I've never hit anyone in my life but that day I had so much anger in me. All the emotions came out.

"What flashed before me was the last ten years of my life, all the abuse, the aggression and everything he put me through. I walloped him in the head with a punch he had taught me to use in self defence. The power amazed me. He reeled backwards. He had it coming. People will have read that it was a row over a stupid garage—but it was about much more than that."

The seeds of their astonishing fight were sown three months ago when Angela, 29, told us how pervert McFadden took her dogging at car parks in his campervan, once making her have sex with a transvestite as he watched. And we can reveal there were not one, but TWO huge bust-ups outside the home he bought her in north London.

In the first Angela was so scared of the raging actor she dialled 999—only for petulant McFadden, 46, to do the same. In the second incident McFadden—who has just returned to the BBC1 soap as Phil Mitchell—he turned up with three cops to change the locks on the garage he claims is his.

However, it all started on Tuesday at 9pm when Angela was getting a mattress out of the garage on the gated estate for eight-year-old Teona's new bedroom. McFadden had come round from his nearby mansion to drop off a jacket for his daughter when he spotted the garage door open.

"He flew into a screaming rage, accusing me of theft. He came close up to my face and was growling like he does as Phil on screen and was going red in the face and clenching his fists.

"He lunged forward. He was only inches away. I dialled 999 on my mobile and told the police what was happening. But then Steve got out his phone and called the police too saying it was me who was being threatening.

"I got angry then. I said, ‘You can't hurt me any more. I don't love you.' He called me ugly and said nobody would believe me. He said I had no friends and I should have plastic surgery and he had more money than me. He was yelling I was fat and spotty.

"I snapped back, ‘I'm fat? What about you?' The thought of sex with him now is repulsive. He just sneered, ‘Well I get paid £500,000 to get my stomach out on screen'. I said ‘Am I meant to be impressed by that?' I told him he must be gay because making your girlfriend sleep with a transvestite is not normal."

Angela says three police cars then turned up at the address. One male officer listened to her story as another spoke to McFadden. The mum-of-two ran around the house trying to find documents which proved the property was hers. "Then they left," she says.

Two days later on Thursday came the second row. In a bizarre twist last week, police were also called that day to the address of McFadden's on-screen brother Ross Kemp, who plays hard man Grant Mitchell, after a domestic incident with wife Rebekah Wade, editor of The Sun. Ms Wade was held for eight hours before being released without charge or caution. The couple later dismissed the incident as "just a silly row".

But there was nothing silly about what was to happen outside Angela's home. She had just dropped Teona at school and returned to find McFadden and four other men looking at the garage lock.

"Three of the men then said they were police but I didn't believe them at first. Steve had called them so he could change the locks on the garage. I was so upset. I called my solicitor and tried to get him to e-mail some details proving I owned the garage."

She got Mollie, their 18-month-old daughter, out of the car and took her in the house. I was so angry," she added. "I was running round trying to get her nappy changed and find the papers. I felt I couldn't take it any more. I was thinking about how nasty he'd been the day before."

As the anger bubbled up Angela took 18-month-old Mollie out and handed her to McFadden so she could get back to looking for the papers. "But as I was walking away he put on a puppy-dog voice, saying ‘Ang, Ang' making it look like he was trying to smooth things over. But I've been trying to sort things out for nine months and it's really all attack, attack, attack, lies, lies, lies.

"All the anger burst out. It just exploded. I tuned around and went for him. I whacked him on the side of the head with the palm of my hand. He had showed me how to do that. It's a way of hitting someone without hurting yourself.

"He didn't expect it. He only acts the tough guy, he's not in real life. His head rocked sideways. But he kept hold of Mollie. I'm not proud of what I did as he was holding my daughter."

Angela said all three plain-clothes officers watched the scene unfold. "They were stunned. I could see a look of glee come across Steve's face. He smirked, he knew he had got me."

She ran back into the house. "The police came in and said I was being arrested for assault. My whole body was shaking." She was taken to Tottenham police station but released with a caution.

WALES 0 ENGLAND 1: Cole saves Sven's strugglers

SVEN GORAN ERIKSSON refused to condemn his players after England stuttered to a 1-0 World Cup qualifying win over Wales in Cardiff.

Joe Cole saved the Swede's blushes yesterday with a deflected second-half winner.

But Eriksson insisted his new 4-5-1 formation had been a success. He said: "I am very happy with the result. The most important thing was to get three points.

"I thought the formation worked well for an hour but we should have scored more. We will try and play better against Northern Ireland on Wednesday, but I'll be happy if we get the same result.

"Our attitude was better today than when we lost 4-1 to Denmark."

Only a world-class save from England keeper DAVID BECKHAM  and Paul Robinson to deny John Hartson secured victory.

Despite the poor display, Eriksson is still unbeaten in competitive matches as England boss, with yesterday's win his 21st.

And he added: "At least we know we can now play this system. Rooney did very well on his own up front and I don't care what people say.

Deflection

"He can play there, on the left, on the right, in the centre or as a second striker — he's that good."

However, Wales skipper Ryan Giggs said: "It was only a deflection that beat us." Welsh boss John Toshack added: "England barely caused us a problem apart from that.

"And Robinson had to make the save of the match to stop us scoring."

Skipper David Beckham said: "We achieved today what we set out to do.

"We won the game and got three points and put in a better performance than we did in that friendly in Denmark. "Maybe some people would have liked to have seen more goals to show that the Copenhagen performance was out of our system."

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